Amidst all the confusion...

"I don't know..."

I KNOW this would be surest statement of someone who's in a state of much confusion and uncertainty. I guess most of us would have this for an answer if asked what could happen to our country's situation right now.

Today, I've heard this same statement uttered to me and uttered by me numerous times. I was glad to spend lunch with a good friend of mine. Though we've never been really that close, I was so touched that she gave me her trust as she shared things to me about her life.

I felt her burden...and yes, even her confusion. It's hard when you look ahead and you see only darkness and uncertainty. You wanted to be sure, but you don't know how...or maybe just afraid to take the risk of finding it out.

If only I could do something to ease her pain and confusion, I would. But sometimes there are things that only we ourselves could solve (w/ God's help, that is) and if we could only step out, stand courageously and look at our fears straight in the eye.

Just like all other afternoons, I went down to buy merienda. Out of curiousity, I tried to look at the streets of Ayala and the rally that's been going on. If I may describe the scene, it's confusing...and uncertain...but still hoping that it wouldn't be chaotic.

On my way to Mister Donut, I just noticed myself walking aimlessly with my eyes staring at what, I don't know...and my mind seemed to be floating somewhere else. I'm afraid, but I had to admit that somehow the confusion around is getting into me. Our country's condition...my friend's situation...even some aspects of my life that I still find confusing and uncertain until now.

Maybe all we need is assurance. But what if we don't find it? Then I guess all we have to do is to TRUST. Easier said than done, I know. But I think that's the only way to hold on. It's the same thing that I told my friend aside from promising to pray for her.

I'm about to go home now. I just don't know if this entry makes sense. Sorry about that, I just want to vent out my thoughts and feelings as of the moment. And though I still have that cloud of confusion hovering around me, I just choose to TRUST the One Who knows better...the One Who sees the future.

I heard Kitchie's song (Same Ground) a while ago. I don't know why the last two lines of the song made an impact to me. Maybe I just thought these lines would somehow be the questions my friend would ask. If ever I'd be the one to ask it, just like her, I'm hoping I wouldn't get the first line of this entry for an answer.

Amidst all the confusion...
though I may not see clearly...
I just believe in my heart...
that things will be just fine.